JOKES
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"Clarence"
A young West Virginian girl wanted to go to college at UVA. But
her father said " No Way! You're going to By-God West Virginia
Univ." Well she got her way and she went to UVA. The first
semester went by, and she wrote home that she was getting married
to, a man from Richmond, VA named Clarence.
Her father said " I'll be damned if my daughter is marrying a man
from Richmond, you're marrying a By-God West Virginian boy."
So he sent his two sons to UVA to get their sister. In a couple
of days they returned. Dad said " Where is your sister?"
They replied " We were almost there Daddy and we came up on this
overpass that had this sign that read 'Clarence 13'6"' so we
turned around and got the hell out of there."
"Heart Mumur"
An eighty-year-old man was having an annual physical. As the
doctor was listening to his heart with the stethoscope, he began
muttering, "Oh oh!"
The man asked the doctor, "What's the problem?"
"Well," said the doc, "you have a serious heart murmur. Do you
smoke?"
"No," replied the man.
"Do you drink in excess?"
"No." replied the man.
"Do you have a sex life?"
"Yes, I do!"
"Well," said the doc, "I'm afraid with this heart murmur, you'll
have to give up half your sex life."
Looking perplexed, the old man said, "Which half - the looking or
the thinking?"